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Visit Scott (Scoop) Butki's column >>

SCOTT (SCOOP) BUTKI

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A cynical idealist; To Read Me Is to Know Me (Mostly)
Articles Posted: 1426  Links Seeded: 10249
Member Since: 2/2007  Last Seen: 5/16/2012

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Navigating Love and Autism - NYTimes.com

Seeded on Tue Jan 3, 2012 12:29 AM EST
Read ArticleArticle Source: The New York Times
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Seeded by Scott (Scoop) Butki
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excerpt:"

GREENFIELD, Mass. — The first night they slept entwined on his futon, Jack Robison, 19, who had since childhood thought of himself as “not like the other humans,” regarded Kirsten Lindsmith with undisguised tenderness.

She was the only girl to have ever asked questions about his obsessive interests — chemistry, libertarian politics, the small drone aircraft he was building in his kitchen — as though she actually cared to hear his answer. To Jack, who has a form of autism called Asperger syndrome, her mind was uncannily like his. She was also, he thought, beautiful.

So far they had only cuddled; Jack, who had dropped out of high school but was acing organic chemistry in continuing education classes, had hopes for something more. Yet when she smiled at him the next morning, her lips seeking his, he turned away.

“I don’t really like kissing,” he said.

Kirsten, 18, a college freshman, drew back. If he knew she was disappointed, he showed no sign.

On that fall day in 2009, Kirsten did not know that someone as intelligent and articulate as Jack might be unable to read the feelings of others, or gauge the impact of his words. And only later would she recognize that her own lifelong troubles — bullying by students, anger from teachers and emotional meltdowns that she felt unable to control — were clues that she, too, occupied a spot on what is known as the autism spectrum.

But she found comfort in Jack’s forthrightness. If he did not always say what she wanted to hear, she knew that whatever he did say, he meant. As he dropped her off on campus that morning, she replayed in her head the e-mail he had sent the other day, describing their brief courtship with characteristic precision.

“Is this what love is, Kirsten?” he had asked.

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  • Scott (Scoop) Butki's Column, All of Newsvine
  • Groups: Asperger's Syndrome, Autism
  • Regions: New York
  • Public Discussion (3)
Scott (Scoop) Butki

Fascinating piece and it matches my own experiences working with and knowing people with autism and aspergers which I've written about in my interviews regarding Horse Boy http://sbutki.newsvine.com/_news/2009/05/28/2875490-an-interview-with-rupert-isaacson-author-of-the-horseboy-a-fathers-quest-to-heal-his-son and articles about Temple Grandin http://sbutki.newsvine.com/_news/2010/02/05/3860118-temple-grandin-after-advanced-screening-of-hbo-movie-about-her-life-speaks-about-autism-the-film-her-books-and-feedback

  • 3 votes
Reply#1 - Tue Jan 3, 2012 12:45 AM EST
Magic Moose

Fascinating article. Thanks for seeding

  • 2 votes
Reply#2 - Tue Jan 3, 2012 1:40 AM EST
Scott (Scoop) Butki

you're quite welcome

  • 2 votes
#2.1 - Tue Jan 3, 2012 5:44 PM EST
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