How To Be Good At Losing (Or Bad At Winning) Games; How To Win By Losing

News Type: Other — Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:06 PM EDT

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Scott (Scoop) Butki

Live Poll

Is it always wrong to lose or throw a game?

Yes
8%
"Always" is a very tricky word to use in a poll
46%
No
46%

Total Votes: 13

Live Poll

Have you ever intentionally lost games?

Yes, at least once a month
27%
Yes but I try to repress those memories
55%
No way. What kind of loser are you?
9%
No. Yes I'm thrice divorced. What's your point?
9%

Total Votes: 11

The media market is full of books, movies, ads, spam,. etc on how to win games, win women, win money from nigerians, etc.

Where's the books for people who want to lose games? What's that? Oh, you're wondering why would anyone want to lose on purpose? Lots of reasons really. Eve played a game with a kid? Do you win 20 times in a row or do you occasionally let them win? Why? Because if you always beat them at, say, Scrabble seeing as they are still learning the alphabet and you teach English at grad school they'd not want to play anymore.

I work with special needs adults and teens. Most are unable to play my favorite board game, backgammon. Checkers is a bit sketchy - some get it, some don't.

But Uno is used in many schools now and is a game just about anyone I work with knows how to play.

I try to intentionally lose every few days because if I don't they might not want to play anymore.

I lose at checkers with one adult I work with. Losing at checkers is much harder than one might imagine. Not only must you intentionally make wrong moves but, if you want to avoid ruining the prospect that the person will decide you're an idiot, you must also do some decent acting, "I can't believe I did that!" I've gotten pretty good at acting through this experience, enough so that I'm pretty sure they think it's luck or skill that lets them win half the time.

The real challenge is the end game of checkers when you to make truly boneheaded moves in order to lose or perhaps point out - like you're suddenly their best friend - a move you claimed you didn't see until after you moved.

So I thought checkers was the hardest game to throw.

But that was before I met The Kid. That was I began to learn it's harder to intentionally lose than it is to intentionally win.

Story continues below...

Meanwhile...

11 Votes
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2.7

{"commentId":2168209,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Three tips on how to intentionally lose at Uno: 1) A common mistake, among kids and the special needs adults I work with, is confusing the 6's and the 9's. That's a good example of what I call "accidental cheating." Normally I'll point out this error but it's hard to do this for some without embarrassing the player. When playing to lose simply ignore this slight error.

2) "Forget" you have wild cards. This is the Uno equivilent of ignoring that you have Dog (or God if you're dyslexic) on your scrabble rack.

3) When you do use a wild card pick a color you've figured out the opponent has and/or pick a color you don't have much of.

{"commentId":2168209,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

3 votes

#1 - Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:07 PM EDT

{"commentId":2168265,"authorDomain":"EPH289"}

EPH289

It's good to see that 100% of the people in your poll agree with me.

Oh, wait a minute, I am the poll.

Must be a loser...:)

{"commentId":2168265,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"EPH289"}

2 votes

#1.1 - Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:14 PM EDT

{"commentId":2168342,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

I had fun writing those answers (and was procrastinating on writing the last half of the piece)

{"commentId":2168342,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

1 vote

#1.2 - Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:24 PM EDT

{"commentId":2168412,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

We played three games of Uno. I won one, the special needs adult I was working with won one and then I won another.

Over the hour during which we played those three games I noticed a visible decrease in the enthusiasm, joy and glee of this boy.

Thus, being the nice guy I am, I decided it was time to throw a game so he can win.

Sounds simple, right?

If only....

{"commentId":2168412,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#2 - Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:33 PM EDT

{"commentId":2169377,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Dealt the cards and we began to play. At first I just played the way I usually did but soon I was down to two cards left and he had about 14. Oops.

I began doing sort of an uno version of card counting, paying attention to what to colors were causing him trouble and which were not, the thinking being that if each time we went to red, for example, he had to draw more cards then I'd avoid changing it to red. I'd instead pretend I didn't have red cards and save the wild cards for turning it to the colors I'd figured out he had.

This worked for a while and soon it was he who was down to just two cards while I had 14.

This was about five minutes into the game and I was pleased.

But then it got hard.

I learned a new lesson: It's easier to guess what cards your opponent has and wants when he has a lot then if he has just two.

For I put down a card I thought would help but he instead scowled and began picking up cards... first one then another then still another and then I was joining him in getting grumpy as the number of cards in his hand grew from five to ten to 20 to 30 and I stole a look around my favorite coffeeshop - the one I've also mentioned here - and saw a few familiar faces watching me curious, perhaps aware I was up to but unsure just what exactly my game was. I tried to shrug in a way that said "Hey, I'm trying to do a con that helps another" but it probably looked like just about every other shrug.

(more later - need to take a computer break for an hour or two)

{"commentId":2169377,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#2.1 - Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:24 PM EDT

{"commentId":2170457,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

So what I expected to be a ten minute game streteched to 20 minutes... 30 minutes.. by this point I was not only ignoring my Uno wild cards but had resorted to returning them to the deck.

I think he knew something was up, perhaps because my acting is... well, I to be overly dramatic when acting outraged.

So he would have, for example, lots of red cards and I made it plainly obvious I had no red cards - I think I provided this subtle clue, "Not a red card - I don't have any red cards!" - and acting very disturbed and saddened.

I'd make a big show out of having to grab a bunch of cards and figure surely he's going to run out of cards before I did. Then something would happen causing him to have to grab a bunch of cards and I'd just deflate further.

Long story short (yeah, I know, it's a bit late for that) the game ended up taking an hour but eventually he won and he was so delighted and so happy and since he was cheerful I was cheerful

Then he suggests we switch to "go fish," explaining he's a bit tired of playing Uno.

Me too, kid. Me too.

The end

{"commentId":2170457,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#2.2 - Fri Jul 11, 2008 8:45 PM EDT

{"commentId":2168608,"authorDomain":"jaap"}

feefmac

I don't seem to have much of a competitive streak when it comes to playing with others. I'm quite happy to let my opponent win, and I quite enjoy their pleasure at beating me. (please be careful to take that in the context of playing board games or video games and nothing else).

My competitiveness comes into the equation when I'm playing PC or console games on my own, when I set goals for myself to beat past records, etc.

{"commentId":2168608,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"jaap"}

1 vote

#3 - Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:53 PM EDT

{"commentId":2168765,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

PC or console games on my own, when I set goals for myself to beat past records, etc.

Ah you do that too? Was wondering if others try to beat their own scores at games. I've done that with other games I play even if I'm the only one who ever plays it.

I was excited to see that one of the puzzle games I bought offered to upload my high scores on the web to compare it to others.

{"commentId":2168765,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#3.1 - Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:11 PM EDT

{"commentId":2168899,"authorDomain":"jaap"}

feefmac

I set myself rules before playing some games, that I can't go on to the good bits till I get a decent score in the easy bits.

I know I'm probably getting to the boring stage now with my constant references to Netwalk, but that's a case in point. Since it's web-based, it starts by offering an easy level, and I have to match the target and get a time score which is less than or equal to the number of moves to match the target. I then go on to the Medium level with the same rules. The Expert level is harder to do as quickly, so my target is to meet the target in the shortest time possible - under 2 minutes usually.

{"commentId":2168899,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"jaap"}

1 vote

#3.2 - Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:23 PM EDT

{"commentId":2204369,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Ironically I lost last nite despite intending to win - I think my game is all messed up now. Oy.

{"commentId":2204369,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

1 vote

#4 - Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:31 AM EDT

{"commentId":2617083,"authorDomain":"davjohn"}

davjohn

I have lost intentionally, usually to children. Most of the "special needs" adults I know are smarter than I when it comes to such games. My cousin lived most of his life between half-way houses and group homes. He's been committed once or twice for his issues, as well. He is a wiz at chess, pinochle, canasta, and bridge.

{"commentId":2617083,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"davjohn"}

#5 - Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:39 AM EDT

{"commentId":3412707,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

I have added some new things - if I get a wild card (especially if it's plus four) I return it to the deck. If the guy is out of, say, red and has picked up five cards from the pile looking for red I'll discreetly add my red card to the top of the pile.

{"commentId":3412707,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

1 vote

#6 - Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:38 AM EDT

{"commentId":4332385,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Played this guy again yesterday.. .and lost.

{"commentId":4332385,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

#7 - Sun Dec 7, 2008 1:49 PM EST

{"commentId":4333401,"authorDomain":"kenyon-1"}

kenyon-1

My favorite games are scrabble, hearts and spades. I have worked with handicapped people too and they get a real feeling of accomplishment when they win a game. I wrote a story a few days ago about the carnival and the handicapped. I think you'll like it. Kenyon, Oh yeah it's called " Bill Hames Shows"

{"commentId":4333401,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"kenyon-1"}

#8 - Sun Dec 7, 2008 3:39 PM EST

{"commentId":4334516,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Off to check it out. Feel free to post a link to it.

{"commentId":4334516,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

#8.1 - Sun Dec 7, 2008 5:37 PM EST

{"commentId":4334537,"authorDomain":"jsbach"}

jsbach

Regarding your poll. It doesn't state why type of games.

For fun games. professional games or non-professional serious games? For me, there's a difference.

{"commentId":4334537,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"jsbach"}

2 votes

#9 - Sun Dec 7, 2008 5:40 PM EST

{"commentId":4342205,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

sorry for the oversight.

If by professional games like tournaments of, say, backgammon or crossword puzzles than I agree - I wouldn't intentionally lose those either

{"commentId":4342205,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

#9.1 - Mon Dec 8, 2008 10:57 AM EST

{"commentId":4336916,"authorDomain":"ladybug331"}

Ladybug331

I usually don't have to worry about losing intentionally -

I think that's self-explanatory!

{"commentId":4336916,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"ladybug331"}

2 votes

#10 - Sun Dec 7, 2008 9:31 PM EST

{"commentId":4342142,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Ha. Sorry to hear that.

{"commentId":4342142,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

#10.1 - Mon Dec 8, 2008 10:53 AM EST

{"commentId":4339143,"authorDomain":"formermormon"}

formermormon

Scott,

I work with teens and adults with developmental disabilities, too. We also use Uno and other games. Bingo is a favorite as well as a game called "buy and sell" in which they practice counting out money. My boss tried to teach some of our clients how to play poker and blackjack - not really gambling of course - that was fun. Your article made me laugh.

{"commentId":4339143,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"formermormon"}

3 votes

#11 - Mon Dec 8, 2008 1:36 AM EST

{"commentId":4342156,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

That is often my simple goal - to make people laugh and/or think.

Thanks for the compliment.

{"commentId":4342156,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

1 vote

#11.1 - Mon Dec 8, 2008 10:53 AM EST

{"commentId":7865922,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Facebook now has uno. perfect.

{"commentId":7865922,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

#12 - Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:56 AM EDT

{"commentId":7867278,"authorDomain":"jaandersen"}

jandersen

Scott - I enjoyed reading this piece.

My niece will tell you that as a child she learned how to read because she thought I was reading the monopoly chance and community chest cards all wrong.

I don't lose intentionally. The day my son beat me at chess, he was one happy camper. At cards, I do play games like war, which can go on forever, and old maid.

{"commentId":7867278,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"jaandersen"}

2 votes

#13 - Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:15 AM EDT

{"commentId":7919692,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

My niece will tell you that as a child she learned how to read because she thought I was reading the monopoly chance and community chest cards all wrong.

OK that is too funny. I'm calling this the funniest thing I've read lately so you some free iced tea. Come to the end of this discussion to collect your prize.

I only would intentionally lose because there's a limited number of games I could play with my special needs clients and if I aways won then they would ALWAYS resort to just watching tv shows I couldnt stand like Saved By the Bell.

{"commentId":7919692,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

1 vote

#13.1 - Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:39 AM EDT

{"commentId":9829504,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Played a lot of uno while subbing today and I was oft reminded of this piece on how to intentionally lose at the game.

You know the saying"this (insert object) is not big enough for the two of us." During the game of uno played on a table one teen said, "this table is not big enough for one of us."

Overall, great day subbing.

{"commentId":9829504,"threadId":"311209","contentId":"1657562","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

#14 - Fri Oct 2, 2009 12:01 AM EDT

{"canLink":false,"threadId":"311209","isPrivate":false}

SCOTT (SCOOP) BUTKI

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How To Be Good At Losing (Or Bad At Winning) Games; How To Win By Losing

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