Satire: American Idol Announces Major Changes Including New Theme: Offensive Songs

American Idol will be making five changes for next week's show, according to information obtained by Newsvine's Weakly World News.

The changes are made in response to what happened to Carly last week, a miscarriage of justice so serious it even warranted coverage by the New York Times.

First, drinking games, including one described here, are now prohibited after Brooke has blamed such games – and her partaking of them – caused her to screw up in last week's show.

Second, all patriotic songs have been banned. No more "God Bless America," "God Bless the USA, "America the Beautiful" other songs may be sung since they are such blatant attempts to manipulate the audience into voting based out of patriotism instead of what really matters in this contest - popularity talent. Anyone violating this rule will have to sit with Paula and Randy for three hours and correct or stop them each time they mangle the English language with words like "pitchy," "dawg," "rangey" or "yo."

Third, only difficult questions may be asked during the call-in feature. Similarly all manipulation of the show, as the New York Times has reported on. Apparently the newspaper is covering the show better than they covered the build up to this war. Sample tough question: Why are you giving people like Neil Diamond more airtime?

Fourth, Simon will have a veto option, giving him the right to veto the audience's chose when it has chosen badly, as it did with Chikeze and Carly.

Fifth, for the next month the show will have a new theme, that theme being Offensive Songs.

Only songs from the following list may be chosen. The songs are chosen because they offend at least one group, be it Christians, squares, cops, your mama, cops, etc.:

Smiths - Meat Is Murder
Sex Pistols - Anarchy in the UK
XTC - Dear God
Depeche Mode- Blasphemous Rumors
Eric Clapton- Cocaine
Velvet Underground - Heroin
Divnyls - I touch myself
Afroman - I Get High
Dead Kennedys - Too Drunk To (expletive delete) Yeastie Girls/Consolidated - Now You Suck
Prince - Darling Nikki
Cindy Lauper - She Bop
The Vapors - Turning Japanese

Time Zone - World Destruction

(This news is still breaking so more information will be added throughout the day)

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