What Are Your Grammar Pet Peeves?

people saying "got" when they really mean "have"o on

There's one. :) (Just kidding.) :P

I hate hybrid (READ: fake) words like "fantabulous" and "chillax." Also, the overuse of words such as "random," and "epic."

you know, now that I think about it... I hate misnomers and words used out of context to imply "i just don't like it"... such words as 'nazi' and 'fascist' fall into this specifically.

Ah, c'mon, I like frankenwords: Monicagate, digerati, übergeek, factoid, mashup,

but when the words get too ginormous (yes, it's sadly in the dictionary), then you've got to sit back and wonder where such plunderphonics came from, but more importantly why? On one hand people run around truncating two words into one word, but make it a bigger word - sort of defeating the point of being linguistically lazy in a couple of areas.

Using 'irregardless'. Also, when children are learning to speak and they say things like 'pasgetti', and the parents, instead of repeating it back as, 'You want spaghetti? OK', they just do nothing, and the kid runs around sounding moronic. That bugged me when I was about 7 years old, lol....

Very fun post. Thank you!

TJG took mine: lose vs. loose. :-)

Those are mine too, Scott and JonesG. Particularly, the abuse of apostrophes. Everyone seems to think that you use apostrophes for plurals now. Along with the it's its confusion, it's getting out of its control, n'est-ce pas?

Apostrophe = stand in for a missing letter.  It's simple, isn't it?

the your and you're distinction seems to be difficult for many people.  i love cafe press's take on grammar awareness:  http://shop.cafepress.com/grammar

My absolutely favorite design:  http://shop.cafepress.com/design/14078963

dangling modifiers are bad grammar but sometimes they amuse me:  Removing each other's fleas, the zoo workers watched the monkeys intently.

The misuse of their, they're, and there drives me nuts.  I also notice the frequent interchanging of less for fewer.  Fun seed!

I love the book Eats, Shoots & Leaves.  It is a surprisingly funny, yet, educational book about punctuation.  (OK, now I am nervous about posting this for fear that I've made some huge grammatical error.)   

Along the lines of grammar, but people misspelling things. Now a days Browsers have spell check on them.

I think I biggest IRK is people speaking in internetese or netspeak. It irritates me when people dumb down the language to suit their needs.

It makes them look completely moronic.

Not knowing the difference between there, their and they're or know and no. Their's someone who posts make good points but there full of these you no what I mean?

AAAAHHHHH!!!!! I so want to correct him, but not in public because I like him. He just doesn't realize how this brings his apparent IQ levels down.

I also had a teacher who would answer the question "Can I go to the bathroom?" with "We all know you can but the question is- May I?" I use to hate him for that but damn it its driven into my head and I find myself saying it to people now. He'd be so proud and shocked at the same time

I had teachers that would retort, "I don't know, are you able?" It drilled into my head that you need to be careful when asking a question about what you are "allowed" to do.

Those damn teachers teaching us such silly thing =D Our teachers must of been related

The use of "of" when "have" is correct. I'm just saying... I would have paid them a little more money for good grades then rather than have to read it now... perhaps.

Yes, but did you find the other errors? (There are a total of four.)

That one comes from spoken English, I think..."have" when said quickly, comes out as "of." Not that it makes people think before writing :)

THERE ARE [instead of "There's"] lots of things that bother me. But I wish more people would HAVE PAID [instead of "of payed"] attention in school, THEN [instead of "than"] I wouldn't get so frustrated with them. ;~Þ

Starting a sentence with BUT is the final grammar error. Is that correct LunarTick?

I've always been taught that starting a sentence with 'but' or 'and' is perfectly acceptable. I'll also admit that misspelling 'paid' was totally unintentional, but I'm glad that a few of you caught it. The fourth error that I intentionally put in there was an unclear antecedent at the end of the sentence. 'Them' can refer to either 'school' or 'people.'

Elementary school teachers usually teach that you cannot start a sentence with a conjunction. As, of course, did SchoolHouse Rocks, "conjunction junction, what's your function?". It's accepted in the vernacular, but is a bit informal. "She was a nice girl. And smart, too." would be bad because the second 'sentence' has no subject or verb, so it's probably easier to teach kids a straight up rule.

I thought the antecedent for them was perfectly clear actually. Since them is plural it could not refer to school.

It's perfectly fine to start a sentence with a conjunction here and there if it serves to convey your purpose or "rather than saying something barbarous" (-George Orwell).

i agree that a sentence can open with "and" or "but." not to mention, "or," "however," "yet," and all down the line.

the rules opposing such use are there to guide young or inexperienced writers. sentences that open in that way are more difficult to write. so the "rule" is akin to teaching batters not to open their batting stance. it's a "rule," but one that is broken, often, by highly skilled batters.

not that writing a good sentence is as difficult as hitting a 90-mph fastball. i probably shouldnt have begun that sentence with "not," either.

Actually, that's a prime example, firsty. "Not that writing a good sentence is as difficult as hitting a 90mph fastball." v. something like "Writing a good sentence isn't as difficult as hitting a 90mph fastball, though."

To make that not contradictory (barbarous), you have to make a super-long sentence (barbarous). The "not that" clause works perfectly.

press releases from government officials are famously wordy. they love to use the word "historic" to describe pretty much whatever they are doing. the sentences are awkward and confusing - a regular nightmare for copyeditors. working for a newspaper is a great way to appreciate the written word, even if what we learn at a newspaper cant be applied everywhere, the practices of editing that i learned at the paper i worked for have stuck with me, even though i dont apply them in the same way, the discipline i learned was invaluable.

Maybe it was just the type of classes I took, but my Comp-2-equivalent teacher had ardent beef with stuffy language.

Oh God, I think I would have just bought a sack of Swedish Fish and called it a day!

But yeah. Dr. Samper was certainly an Orwellian when it came to writing.

I'll never forget one who insisted their was only one "right" intepretation of symbolism in Moby Dick

I know that type, the fact is a metaphor means what it means to you, the reader.

Then - describing time.

Or consequence.

If I screw up the grammar in this sentence then I'll look like an idiot.

it's perfectly fine to start a sentence with a conjunction here and there if it serves to convey your purpose or "rather than saying something barbarous" (-George Orwell).

I've always loved the Churchill quote: "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which we will not put."

A man said to his wife, "Honey, where's the newspaper at?" The wife snapped at him, "Never end a sentence with a preposition!" The man thought for a minute and said, "OK, where's the newspaper at, @!$%#?"

I think even my version was incorrect after reading your post. I relied on a friend who apparently paraphrased it.

That's not my favorite Churchill quote though (OT warning!!)

Lady Astor upon seeing Churchill leaving a pub said: "Mr. Churchill you are drunk!" To which he replied, "Yes, and you are extremely ugly. In the morning however, I shall be sober!"

I saw your version after I posted mine - I have no idea whose was correct, probably neither, but they both get the point across!

I love the Lady Astor/Churchill quote. Those English back in the day had a way with insults that we have lost.

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!"
Churchill: "If I were your husband, madam, I'd drink it!"
Ok Im tapped out

This would be a good place to post grammatical errors when we find them on the vine. Just copy and paste them here.

That seems a bit cruel, don't you think? I would be embarrassed if my comments were constantly posted by the grammar and spelling police. The exception would be if my errors were so bad that they made my comments unintentionally funny.

For articles you may have a good idea, but for comment posting I think not. It is intended to be conversational and as such it is probably the most informal form of the written word. Unless it is blatant and repeated I'm for cutting ourselves some slack.

Speaking of the grammar police, you might want to read Dr. Whom. As for a column for corrections, I would find it to be more appropriate to have a specific column for that. Whereby simply the paragraph is cut (or anything that is required and no more). We could all learn, including myself.

The question is, who would make up the task force?

No, your nuts are correct. I think its that stress on "ass" that made the PCP go insane on the word and insist we say it hairissment.

(PCP = political correctness police, btw.)

sexual harassment and how either it's changed over time or it's been corrected by many over time. Pre-Monica Lewinsky it was har ASS ment with the stress on the "ass" part of the word (which I found coincidental) but in recent years I more often hear it with the stress on the first syllable.

So what you are saying is; When it comes to sexual harassment, it is usually because "he" thinks herASS means one thing, and she knows HERass means something totally different.

GWB would catch more hell over that if it weren't for Jimmy Carter.

There is an entire LOL programming language: http://lolcode.com/

Sample:

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
VISIBLE "HAI WORLD!"
KTHXBYE

Brian: Hysterical!!

Reckon is a funny one. Anyone else can and it's ok: "By his reckoning..." or "He reckons that... " But the minute you say "I reckon..." the hillbillie light comes on, and you can forget about being taken seriously.

As a southerner, I refuse to give up ya'll and fixin to.

Dolce, not to pick nits, but I believe it's y'all. 

My greatest grammer sin?  Ending sentences with prepositions.

I'm with Dolce...If I give up those two expressions, I'd be fixin to go dumb y'all.

As a southerner, I refuse to give up ya'll and fixin to.

As soon as the U-Haul hit the road headed to New Jersey, I gladly waved goodbye to those two words!  :)

DolceSpiritus

As a southerner, I refuse to give up ya'll and fixin to.

As a dyed-in-the-wool Yankee, I've found Southernisms enjoyable to speak and have adopted some for my own use. Also since the word "you" is both singular and plural, "y'all" is actually helpful as it removes any ambiguity.

Now if only my fellow New Yorkers would adopt some Southern manners ...

Little to none. Dumb. Try almost none.

To me, little to none implies a range, while almost none implies one particular small value.

Backward and Backwards. Backwards can only be used as an adjective, but backward is always correct.

Wow. Just this morning, I was wondering about that.

BlaiseP, care to give a lesson in subjunctive while your at it?

unkept or unkempt? I was taught, unkempt is to be disheveled and look a mess and that unkept was a misnomer that is widely used and accepted if used int eh same context as unkempt.

"this point in time" ... as opposed to a point in space

I think that one was given to us by John Dean during the Watergate hearings. It used to be referred to as "now".

See, I did it without realizing it. "Referred to as" instead of "called"

...and might I add, over and over again!

...repeatedly.

This is from the Dean of the Department of Redundacy Department.

And on and on and on.....

To put it in the words of a famous philosopher: Verbing nouns weirds language.

My most despised marketing speak innovation: impactful.

Usage: "You should make this web page blink and flash, that would be more impactful."

More impactful? I fly into a silent rage every time I hear that. No, it would have more impact, it wouldn't be more impactful.

I'm waiting to hear impactfullness and impactfullify next.

Gee, it sounds like you've had a bad (impactful) day at the dentist's.

I would think it would the car of the friend of Mr. Wilson. Unless, of course, his friend was The Hulk Or Superman

I'm a programmer, and I almost puked the first time I heard format used as a verb.

Did I format that correctly?

Why? Format has a formal definition as a verb.

'Doable' bugs me, too.

There was a wonderful essay in my English comp book called "Clutter" by William Zinsser. He likened the unnecessary use of longer words (experiencing pain vs. "it hurts") prepositions draped into verbs ("free up" instead of just "free"), nouns turned into verbs, ("do we gift the Johnsons, dear?") etc. to weeds in the garden. An excerpt can be found here.

every word has its place. as long as the writer is making deliberate choices, it's tough to argue with them, assuming the writer knows what the choices mean. for me, the only real problems are a result of careless writing.

That is not a complete sentence.

The grammar police. suck.

Fixed :D

That is not a complete sentence.

"That" has no antecedent. :P

Rule 1: Every pronoun must have a clear and conspicuous antecedent (word to which it refers). The antecedent must be a single noun, not an entire sentence or idea. Therefore, do not use the pronouns it, which, that, and this to refer to an entire sentence.

"That" has no antecedent. :P

In the context within which it is used^* — as reply to comment 16.1 — it most certainly does. Teh interwebs allows for an implied antecedent ;-)

-J

^{* Wordiness intentional}

Actually my biggest pet peeve is when there's a grammar mistake (and let's face it we all make them) that someone gets so caught up in pointing out that they miss the point of the article or comment.

Don't get me wrong, when I read something and I find a mistake, I'm mentally correcting it. But I don't feel that it's necessary to publicly call someone out about an error. What's really important is the topic of the article or comment. Now if you can't understand the point they are trying to get across because of the mistakes that's different.

And if the grammar mistake is that important to you, take a moment and email the person privately and let them know. Chances are they didn't even realize they made it. It's very hard to proofread your own work because you read what you meant to say, not what's actually written.

Might and may. Might is a whether or not kind of thing, i.e. I might go to the movie tonight. May is permissive, i.e. you may go to the movie tonight (meaning I have given you permission to do so)

Sorry to be a dick, but you just used one of my grammar pet peeves: the (mis)use of exempli gratia and id est.

Exempli gratia is used when you mean "for example" and is almost always followed with a comma: e.g., like this.

Id est is used to say "that is" and is also typically followed by a comma (i.e., if you learned how to use it properly).

Both are typically used to introduce dependent, expository clauses and should be pre-punctuated appropriately. So when you said, for example, "...or not kind of thing, i.e. I might go to..." What you should have said was "...or not kind of thing: e.g., 'I might go to...'" — i.e., you should have used exempli gratia rather than id est preceded by a colon rather than a comma and followed by a comma.

Again, sorry for being a dick,
- J

Josh, actually I've always gotten the two confused and never had anyone explain it to me. Thank you for taking the time.

do you fix grammar in quotes

Leaving bad grammar in a quote is just sic.

Leaving bad grammar in a quote is just sic.

:) very good, a grammar joke.

How often do you see a grammar pun? :)

Whoa, people spell it with a Y? I always spelled it "ginormous." It flows from "gigantic" better that way.

I don't spell it at all. I suppose this is the feminine variant.

misuse of an apostrophe's what?

"If you were waiting on me, you'd be bringing me a sandwich".

It could also mean they were sitting on top of you while waiting.

... for a sandwich? LOL : )

* Throws rock *

Seriously, can I get special dispensation because English is not even my second language?
I pride myself on my mad language skillz, but I probably will make a mistake every now and then. Or use expressions that seem outdated.

Rest assured that the most terrible mistakes I see here on the Vine come from Scott himself, but that's only because he writes faster than God can read.

'Tis true, "using words incorrectly in the normal course of conversation is just being human". It seems that we rarely edit our casual conversations before we speak. Most of us are merely trying to get our point across quickly and with the least amount of effort expended as opposed to elevating the spoken word to an art form. I am not judging this because as Adam so aptly stated, "the point of language is to communicate." : )

...routine. (That sounded really pompous.)

It didn't sound pompous — mainly because you incorrectly presented a parenthetical clause as an independent clause by preceding it with a period :-)

-J

If you're tryng to use ten dollar words to impress someone, using them incorrectly is unforgiveable

I just proved my own point then. I'm a winner either way!

Great book. The Transitive Vampire and The Well-Tempered Sentence are also high on my list.

An interesting article on ending a sentence with a preposition.

Ending a sentence with a preposition
"What time is the game at?"... no "At what time is the game?"

One of my favorite grammar jokes:

An 18 year-old is accepted to Harvard. On his first day he is assigned a research paper and has to go to the library. He stops an upperclassman and asks, "Excuse me, can you tell me where the library's at?"

"At Hah-vahd, we nevah end our sentences with prepositions," replies the upperclassman.

"Okay," replies the 18 year-old. "Can you tell me where the library's at, @!$%#?"

Churchill also has a choice quote regarding ending sentences with a preposition. I think that is one of those outdated rules which can be thrown on the trash heap.

From a colloquial perspective, yes. From a strictly grammatical perspective, not so. The function of a preposition is to act as the introduction to a phrase that typically modifies the sentence's predicate.

The best way to look at it is in the same light as an infinitive verb like "to be." Although the verb consists of two words, those two words function as a single object (which is why we don't split infinitives). In the case of a preposition, its purpose is to introduce a multi-word phrase that is also a singular object.

So when you say:

Paris is a place I want to go to.

... the preposition "to" is not introducing a phrase. Saying:

Paris is a place to which I want to go.

... it is.

Yeah, a less formal tone in writing is generally acceptable; however, it's good practice to know why a rule like "don't end a sentence with a preposition" exists :-)

- J

"to which" is even more awkward than ending the sentence in a preposition.

I'd like to visit Paris.

English does not lack for verbs. Any time you feel the need to use a weak verb supported by a preposition, find the strong verb. Unless there's a dire need for the preposition, kill it.

I was going to call you, but never found the time. I was going to Houston, but ended up in Austin. Go to New York if you want to act.

English is full of horrid prepositional phrases, avoid as many as possible. It's tough on people who don't read English well. Throw off, throw up, throw under the bus, throw out, throw in the towel, kill the prepositions where you can.