My Proposed American Idol Drinking Game

News Type: Other — Thu Mar 6, 2008 8:31 AM EST

Each time I watch an episode of this show I see something else that annoys me. I collected some of them before here

Here are five rules for a proposed drinking game. You drink…

1)Each time Randy says "man" or "dawg" you drink a shot.

2)Each time Paula describes someone as "unique." (Psst, Paula, I used to over use that word too until I realized that everyone is unique so calling a person is unique is a bit like calling a snowflake white and distinct, i.e.

3)Each time Randy says he is "keeping it real."(I thought people stopped saying that about ten years ago)

4) Simon responds to the audiences booing him.

5) Simon and/or Ryan are @!$%#y to each other

I think each episode will get you drunk if you follow those rules, but isn't that really the goal of most drinking games anyway?

7 Votes
Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.

Published to:

Scott (Scoop) Butki's Column, All of Newsvine
Groups: Entertainment Gateway, Laughter Is The Best Medicine, Silly and Stupid, TV Lounge, TV-Guide
Regions: none

What's this?

Who's leading the conversation?

This visualization below allows you to see the impact that each user has on the current conversation. The top row contains the group of users who have had the most impact, the 2nd row the group of users who have had the 2nd most impact (et cetera). Users with similar impact are grouped together, and the average score of the group is shown to the left of the group. The author of the article is also shown on the left, in their corresponding group. Each user's score is based on the number of comments the user has made plus the number of votes their comments have received. The scores are calculated relative one another, so while their absolute value is not particularly important, their relative difference does indicate a larger difference in impact on the conversation.

4.3

{"commentId":1546601,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

What other rules should we add?

{"commentId":1546601,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#1 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 8:32 AM EST

{"commentId":1546697,"authorDomain":"vacelts"}

vacelts

6. You drink every time Ryan makes a bad joke.

7. You drink every time Paula gets up and dances during a performance.

At this rate we'll be so sloshed we won't make it to the second commercial break. ;-)

{"commentId":1546697,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"vacelts"}

2 votes

#1.1 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 9:06 AM EST

{"commentId":1547229,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

At this rate we'll be so sloshed we won't make it to the second commercial break. ;-)

Maybe then we won't be as annoyed by their mangling of the English language.

Oh and drink when Randy - or Paula who has also caught the bug - says things like '1 billion percent yes"

For the record I'm at work when this show is on and no (in case my employers are reading this) I'm not really drinking.

{"commentId":1547229,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#1.2 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 11:32 AM EST

{"commentId":1547600,"authorDomain":"vacelts"}

vacelts

says things like '1 billion percent yes"

At the rate where drinking with this game that's going to make sense.

{"commentId":1547600,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"vacelts"}

2 votes

#1.3 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 12:57 PM EST

{"commentId":1547882,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Speak for yourself. I understand issues better the more i drink - that's why I've found the best place to read a newspaper is in a bar. Suddenly the war makes sense... after a few rum and cokes, hold the coke.

{"commentId":1547882,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#1.4 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 2:12 PM EST

{"commentId":1548019,"authorDomain":"DrKnow"}

Dr Know

I vaguely remember discovering the answer to all the troubles in the world while in a drinking contest in my college days. By the time I had recovered from the hangover well enough to write the answer down, I had completely forgotten it.

{"commentId":1548019,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"DrKnow"}

3 votes

#1.5 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 2:51 PM EST

{"commentId":1548025,"authorDomain":"vacelts"}

vacelts

Lucky you. Once I start drinking, I can't read. ;-)

{"commentId":1548025,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"vacelts"}

2 votes

#1.6 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 2:52 PM EST

{"commentId":1551961,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

I can read while drinking - writing is another matter. In college I repeatedly tried to write while drunk figuring what worked for Hunter Thompson, William Burroughs, etc is worth a try.

The result was often something like this:

jewjsjemd.ss

because I couldn't even hit the right keys

{"commentId":1551961,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#1.7 - Fri Mar 7, 2008 1:41 PM EST

{"commentId":1552166,"authorDomain":"anthopos"}

Perry O

jewjsjemd.ss

because I couldn't even hit the right keys

Either that or your subconscious is a Nazi. :-)

{"commentId":1552166,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"anthopos"}

2 votes

#1.8 - Fri Mar 7, 2008 2:37 PM EST

{"commentId":1556468,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Oh, great, one more reason to return to therapy!

{"commentId":1556468,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#1.9 - Sat Mar 8, 2008 8:19 PM EST

{"commentId":1546630,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Oh and while we're at, did you turn off the tv after the show or did you stick around for the moment of staged insanity, er, truth?I ranted about it last week" also asking people to name their guilty pleasures.

Did you watch this week?
I could feel the show pulling me in like a driver passing an accident and feeling the natural desire to slow down and look but my god, they were publicizing it like it was a good thing to show a woman having a nervous breakdown on tv. Sick.

So yes I skipped it this time.

{"commentId":1546630,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#2 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 8:45 AM EST

{"commentId":1547358,"authorDomain":"anthopos"}

Perry O

1)Each time Randy says "man" or "dawg" you drink a shot.

You're risking alcohol poisoning with that one.

9)Every time Randy says "pitchy" you drink a shot.

{"commentId":1547358,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"anthopos"}

3 votes

#3 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 12:01 PM EST

{"commentId":1547588,"authorDomain":"vacelts"}

vacelts

That's a good rule too Perry. But it might also end in alcohol poisoning.

{"commentId":1547588,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"vacelts"}

3 votes

#3.1 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 12:55 PM EST

{"commentId":1547892,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Kids, don't try this game at home. Adults, don't sue us if you try this at home.

"pitchy" is a good one.

{"commentId":1547892,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

#3.2 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 2:13 PM EST

{"commentId":1547491,"authorDomain":"DrKnow"}

Dr Know

How about a cup of strong black coffee when Paula actually offers useful criticism?

{"commentId":1547491,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"DrKnow"}

5 votes

#4 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 12:32 PM EST

{"commentId":1547595,"authorDomain":"vacelts"}

vacelts

Paula actually offers useful criticism

Has that ever happened?

{"commentId":1547595,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"vacelts"}

2 votes

#4.1 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 12:56 PM EST

{"commentId":1548008,"authorDomain":"DrKnow"}

Dr Know

I did not say you would actually CONSUME any. Just part of the rules!!!

{"commentId":1548008,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"DrKnow"}

3 votes

#4.2 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 2:49 PM EST

{"commentId":1548032,"authorDomain":"vacelts"}

vacelts

Oh. Okay. Makes the game sound a little responsible, if in theory only. :-)

{"commentId":1548032,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"vacelts"}

2 votes

#4.3 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 2:53 PM EST

{"commentId":1548389,"authorDomain":"DrKnow"}

Dr Know

We conserve the illusion of social responsibility at all times!

{"commentId":1548389,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"DrKnow"}

2 votes

#4.4 - Thu Mar 6, 2008 4:19 PM EST

{"commentId":1551379,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

I thought about suggesting you have to stop drinking if the three stooges (the judges) all get along for one episode.

I still want to vote Paula off too

{"commentId":1551379,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#4.5 - Fri Mar 7, 2008 11:41 AM EST

{"commentId":1550923,"authorDomain":"evilgenius"}

evilgenius

Well if we only took a shot when someone sang a good song (note I did not say take a shot if someone sang well) we's still be sober at the end of the show - even if we watched the entire season in one sitting.

{"commentId":1550923,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"evilgenius"}

3 votes

#5 - Fri Mar 7, 2008 10:01 AM EST

{"commentId":1552053,"authorDomain":"erin98"}

Erin98

Can't forget...When Paula tells someone how great they look.

{"commentId":1552053,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"erin98"}

2 votes

#6 - Fri Mar 7, 2008 2:02 PM EST

{"commentId":1554236,"authorDomain":"vacelts"}

vacelts

Good one.

{"commentId":1554236,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"vacelts"}

2 votes

#6.1 - Sat Mar 8, 2008 6:34 AM EST

{"commentId":1556479,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Speaking of which did she look dumb(er) with that hat on or what? Hey, if she can judge - ok compliment - people on their appearance why can't I do it back to her? Ever notice Simon seems to wear the same clothes every nite.

{"commentId":1556479,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

1 vote

#6.2 - Sat Mar 8, 2008 8:22 PM EST

{"commentId":1557771,"authorDomain":"vacelts"}

vacelts

Ever notice Simon seems to wear the same clothes every nite.

Yes, Ryan makes fun of that all the time. But even a couple of the contestants have gotten in a few jabs this season about Simon's fashion sense.

{"commentId":1557771,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"vacelts"}

1 vote

#6.3 - Sun Mar 9, 2008 10:56 AM EDT

{"commentId":1561101,"authorDomain":"DrKnow"}

Dr Know

Is this a fashion show or a talent show? Is it about how well people sing or how well Simon dresses?

{"commentId":1561101,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"DrKnow"}

2 votes

#7 - Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:32 AM EDT

{"commentId":1600066,"authorDomain":"vacelts"}

vacelts

10. Every time Ryan hocks itunes, drink.

{"commentId":1600066,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"vacelts"}

1 vote

#8 - Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:34 AM EDT

{"commentId":1607684,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

We'd be drunk sooo fast.

{"commentId":1607684,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

2 votes

#8.1 - Sat Mar 22, 2008 7:05 AM EDT

{"commentId":1615672,"authorDomain":"vacelts"}

vacelts

Very true.

{"commentId":1615672,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"vacelts"}

2 votes

#8.2 - Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:11 PM EDT

{"commentId":5133884,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

I think I need to add some new rules - for the new judge. Any suggestions?

{"commentId":5133884,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

#9 - Mon Feb 2, 2009 3:52 PM EST

{"commentId":5134310,"authorDomain":"ibsatan"}

Vassago-596698

How about we get away from the judges' behavior and look to the contestants? Seems a shame to attribute ALL our drunkenness to them (even though they give us plenty of opportunity):

-When a contestant asks to sing something else,

-gives the finger to Simon (be it directly or in the interview),

-cries (whether they're in or not),

-thanks their god/ avers that their god wanted them to be on the show (I NEED a drink after hearing that drivel),

-proclaims themselves the Next American Idol. . . and subsequently mangles the performance

-expounds about their 'unique style' of singing. . . which makes dogs in a five-mile radius collapse with bleeding ears

See? Contestants are just as capable of getting the rest of the world sloshed! Hey, why don't we designate who's making whom drink: assign the people you're playing with either the Judges or the Contestants- see who gets drunk first!

{"commentId":5134310,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"ibsatan"}

2 votes

#10 - Mon Feb 2, 2009 4:12 PM EST

{"commentId":5134562,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}

Scott (Scoop) Butki

Just once I want to hear a contestant say "I will be the next (insert phrase other than American Idol)

Good suggestions.

I put up some thoughts on contestants and judges here

{"commentId":5134562,"threadId":"230213","contentId":"1347400","authorDomain":"sbutki"}

#10.1 - Mon Feb 2, 2009 4:24 PM EST

{"canLink":false,"threadId":"230213","isPrivate":false}

SCOTT (SCOOP) BUTKI

Backyard

My Proposed American Idol Drinking Game

Published to:

FUN STUFF:

COMPANY STUFF:

LEGAL STUFF: