My Chinese Buffet Experiment

Ok, I'm off. Wish me luck.

I'm doing this offline to maximize how much time I can spend reading and writing versus checking emails and posts and such.

I'll post the results of my experiment about 6:30 p.m.

2 pm - I enter, with the laptop hidden in a bag. I consider telling them, if asked,
that I am a health inspector figuring that way they would leave me alone and
give me the best food. I remind myself that's probably against the law.

2:05 pm - I case the joint and curse my timing. I should have come an hour
earlier when there were more people and I'd blend in more There are only two other tables occupied. Plus it would be more of an exercise in stamina. Maybe next time I'll shoot for 3 or 4 hours.

2:10 - I open up the laptop and watch staff come to take a look. My waiter gives me a strange look and for a second I expect he will tell me I can't use the computer there. Instead he admires my laptop and asks where I got it and explains how he is unhappy with the size and style of his current one.
I nod and ask him for a set of chopsicks. Now if they take my silverware or chopsticks I have a backup plan.

2:15-2:30 - I read Noah's piece about Will Farrell (saved to disk earlier) and type
a reply for later: "Will Farrell is about as funny as Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider, which is to say less funny than George Bush., It's not good – except for comedians – when the head of state is funnier, accidentally, than people intentionally trying to be funny.
What saddens me are the enablers, those who go to the movies by these guys – all former SNL live alumni. As long as some go and make these guys – oh and David Spade too – money they will remain deluded about their humor abilities.
It is time for an intervention. It is time to stop paying them money.
Help them by ignoring them. The rest of the world thanks you."

2:30 – I go get another plate of food. Love the dumplings. I ponder the cliché about how when you eat Chinese you are hungry again an hour later. I realize that I have found the perfect solution to that. I just wish they would put out more sushi. Maybe that'll change during the next hour.

2:30-2:40 – I write my Writing Down the Bones exercise on escape. I resist the easy out of writing about this. Being too self-referential makes my head hurt. Instead I write a story which I'll post later.

2:40 pm to 3 pm – They bring my bill. Silly employee, I'm still here for another 90 minutes. I'm slowing down on my eating – must… pace… myself. I'm getting full. But that'll pass.

I read and comment on other people's Writing Down the Bones exercise with growing pride over the quantity and quality of contributors.

3 pm - I start working on my fiction game entry, deciding I should incorporate
into the story recent events about my thread regarding voting and explain that it was all part of the story-to-come and not just a vanity exercise.

3:15 god I love sesame chicken. But typing while holding two chop sticks is
getting tricky.

3:45 – They are cleaning all the tables around me. One keeps looking at me and then looking at his watch. I wonder if he is trying to tell me something?

4 pm – Now I'm truly full and have finished my writing for the day, even my crazy new story. I put the laptop away – hey, is that guy smiling now? – and pull out a book. Yes, now he is definitely frowning.

4:15 pm – I leave, off to provide respite care, which today means playing uno and checkers.

This mission is accomplished.

Thanks for reading.

Now that you mention it...:)

A quick apology - I may have gone overboard in the last few days in self-promoting
some of my articles.
So I'm going to take 48 hours off from doing any self-promoting, i.e linking to something
I wrote from someone else's thread. If you see me do that before then you have
permission to give me a wedgie.

Heh. Thanks.
I may put up a better picture tomorrow.

I was going to do my Pizza Hut Buffet experiment today but between other
activities ran out of time. I'll try it Friday instead.

I was reminded of this piece/stunt/performance art by this column today

Thought of this piece as I read this:

Man arrested in all-you-can-eat buffet dispute at Iron Skillet

i think tomorrow i'm going to try to beat my personal record. not sure if i'll write up this time.

Just got back from the workout.

That felt great. Well, actually it felt awful but no pain is no gain, right?

In November I wrote by hand a memoir piece in which I was going to publicly pledge (via newsvine and facebook) to work out at least 3 times a week and would post my stats too and if I skipped I’d be publicly shamed. That was before I was without a computer for two months and decided to set aside what will now be seen as a resolution.

But… given recent events I figure why the hell not? So I’ll type that up later, maybe while at the Chinese buffet I’m headed for, and publish it later in the week. Those who bust me for skipping exercise get the choice of giving me a virtual wedgie or playing truth or dare.

My report on my second attempt is now up