Life As A Klutzy, Unlucky Man

The first clue there was a problem came when a colleague gave me a look. I couldn't read the look. Then I heard him say, "Excuse me for a minute." He interrupted the interview so he could turn to me and say, "Do you have time to go back and change those," pointing at my pants.

To me this says your colleagues have a really strange set of values (WHY do they care if your pants are wrinkly?).
Wear your wrinkly pants with pride!!

Endearing article, sbutki, but it dashed my picture of you as the suave man-about-town.

I myself cannot boast a centimetre of unbruised skin on my shins, as I keep walking into furniture. My colleages think I am being domestically abused by a little person.

This weekend, I was walking up a flight of stairs, missed my footing and banged my shin on a top step. I can smile about it now but it was EINAAAAAAAA then.

I tend to break other peoples' stuff.

Well I haven't had a klutzy moment in a while, but my roommate(not Rob) Took a spill coming out of the chow hall last night. Granted it was dark. and it looked like it hurt, but it was funny as hell. Oh and he wasn't hurt, physically anyway. Even Rob was laughing on the inside..

Good stuff. You definitely have "it"...

LOL ..two days ago I fell over the kids PlayStation controller and busted my leg and arm up is a klutz too ..giggles

i am NOT a klutz, thank god. i have my peculiar foibles, of course, like being unable to accurately judge distances in manhattan and thinking i can easily walk to where i am going, when i cant. this is idiotic, since most of manhattan is on a grid. but, there are PARKS, which throw me, every time!

but thankfully, at least i am not a klutz. but i knew one, once.

and i think he has scott beat, even. although this is a dubious distinction, to be sure.

of course my klutzy friend was prone to get sick, and was not only regularly sick with every common illness, but exotic illnesses as well. he once was sick for weeks, lost over 50 lbs (which he could not afford to lose) and finally dragged himself into the er, only to be told later that he should have been carried in, dead, his oxygen levels were like 50% and noone could explain why he had even lived, he was so sick. and this wasnt even his worst illness during the 3 years i knew him. he had been even sicker than that, with a brain virus or some such @!$%#.

out of all the tales he told me of his supreme klutziness, the most memorable have to be the time he was inspecting his first home when it was being built.....and fell from the top floor down through where the stairs should have been and landed in his future foyer. ouch. (scott, i would recommend that you avoid all construction sites, just to be safe).

and the one i told my sweetheart over pasta when we were first dating....(my willingness to share other people's embarassing secrets AND my absolute inability to stop laughing when speaking about my friends' misfortunes were what made my sweetie fall in love with me.) i dont even remember the details now, but a series of VERY unfortunate events culminated in my klutzy friend being dragged down the street by a very large dog, with his boxers around his ankles.

you know, he could also have been a very good embellisher, and not a klutz, now that i think about it. but, whatever. my future children will owe their very existance to the pants around the ankles story.

can u beat that, scott?

I'm an incredible klutz. My friends used to call me "Unfortunate M" because I am always getting hurt in weird, stupid ways, or getting sick with things that don't make sense.

Let's see...

Going way, way back, when I was maybe 6 years old I was standing outside and a bee stung me right on the nose. Out of the blue. That wasn't really my fault, just unfortunate.

I got a concussion (my 4th, I think) when I was 15.....during a card game. As a result of the card game. Maybe I just play too rough.

I dislocated my knee (for maybe the 10th time in my life) while bowling.

I sprained my ankle just walking in the grocery store. Didn't trip or anything. Then did the same thing a year later, only when I was running on a treadmill. And I kept running. I figured I could run through the pain. The result was 3 weeks of agonizing pain, hubby begging me to take a day off work to rest, or go to the doctor, and me refusing both, hobbling around on a cane (all the crutches we could find were either too tall or too short and wouldn't adjust), being a b*tch to everyone. My fault, of course.

I had a kidney infection come on incredibly suddenly once. It was massive. I swear one moment I was fine and the next I was pissing blood every 2 minutes, and hoping it would go away (?!) before finally rushing to the doctor, who was incredulous that I hadn't had any symptoms before an hour before I saw him. 2 years later I developed a kidney stone, tried to go to work (and stayed till lunch time). Turns out it was too big to pass and got lodged in my urethra behind my pelvic bone. The urologist was just this beautiful, beautiful man, and he was going to do my surgery. All I could think through the haze of morphine was "this man's going to see my vagina..."

"my vagina has a first name..."

let me guess... it's "O-S-C-A-R"???

I realize I am late to the conversation, but would like to win this pissing match: I broke my leg reading.

Hehe Scott, I can so relate to this article. I'm always tripping, hitting my head, stumbling off curbs, etc.

Once, a construction worker was cat calling at me, I turned around to make some smart a$$ and fell flat on my stomach.

ANOTHER time, I was living in a suburb of London, and my friends and I were walking through a park inhabited by "the Queens deer". Anyway, it was dark, and we probably shouldn't have been there in the first place. Then we heard a snort. We thought we were goign to be attacked by a deer so we started running. It's debateable what excatly happened at this point, and who tripped first, all I know is one of my friends was infront of me tumbling down the hill we were on (front side up), and caught myself (mid fall) on her feet, flipped over her and we continued to tumble another 5 ft in a crazy jumble. Our other friend was at the bottom of the hill to take a photo, though I don't think it ever came out.

I always seem to come across these threads several months after they're made.

My story? When I was a kid, my parents used to do landscaping stuff at a local cemetary. As I was walking around helping them with their work, I challenged a headstone to a duel while wielding nothing but my face. I would have won the duel too if hadn't tripped and fell during my vailant charge.

Long story short: Stitches, a scar, and a nice crack in my skull that still shows up in X-rays.

This popped up on my tracker this morning, I clicked and read and looked at the replies and thought goodness I need to get up really early to catch up with all of you, yawns, than I noticed the date of the story, smiles March 2007, Well no wonder so many have already replied. It's a good story I enjoyed the read and am really thrilled that I am not the only klutz. Goodness I will trip on a shadow trying to step over it. On my last job , I fell so many times I earned the name "Floor Bouncer" or "Tigger" for shorts, depending on which boss was calling my name, smiles everyone have a great day .

StarSmilesUSA